So next week, I'm off to visit my mother in scenic New Jersey, also known as America's Armpit. I'm sure New Jersey really was the "Garden State" when it picked up the nickname back in 1876, but these days the moniker is decidedly at odds with the chemical plants, oil refineries, and the various stuff that washes up on the beach.

If you can't tell, I'm not a big fan of the place despite having lived there for three years, and neighboring New York City for the first twenty-one years of my life. Tennessee strikes me far more as "home" than anywhere north of the Mason-Dixon line does, and there are times when I wish I grew up down here. Of course, if I had I would've missed out on the few good things from that part of the country--like the food, which I'm really looking forward to (sorry, folks, but soup beans and cornbread does not compare to a good slice of pizza) despite my overall distaste for the area. I'll get to see my family as well, which is also a fairly good thing. They're hard to take in heavy doses, but they're great people overall and I'm lucky to have grown up with them there. I'm sure they'll all remind me of that, too.

We're driving (because flying costs too damn much, and I'm not into being anally probed because I forgot I had nail clippers in my carry-on) which is another "fun" aspect of the trip. Roughly speaking, it's about 700 miles door to door, at least half of which is inside the state of Virginia. I like the Old Dominion and all, but man, I-81 sure doesn't have much to look at except for trucks, asphalt, more trucks, grass, more asphalt, yet even more trucks, and roadkill. Fun for the whole family, I'm sure.

Because of the unenlightened attitude the Garden State takes to personal self-defense, I get to leave my sidearm at home. I've tried, in the past, to stop just before the MD state line and lock the thing in the trunk, but that's a pain in the ass, worse than useless (yay, standing in a rest stop with a pistol that you then proceed to place entirely out of reach--sounds quite safe) and leaves me in doubtful compliance with the law. I never go anywhere entirely unarmed though. If nothing else, this thing is always with me.



Columbia River makes good knives. If you're looking for a new knife, I seriously suggest you look at their M16 or Crawford/Kasper series. Not as good as a Glock for self defense, but it does the job.

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